Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize