if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize