the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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