Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
