The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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