go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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