hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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