Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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