Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
