I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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