Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
