Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize