I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
