I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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