My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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