I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize