Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
