i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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