I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
