best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
