id be glad to
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
third nipple confirmed
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
