i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize