Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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