jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Mom said you looked used
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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