Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can I color on your dick again?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
