He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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