why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
