i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
