Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
