I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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