she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
