Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My ass is underappreciated
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
