Dual....:-)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
