please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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