Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i love accidental penises.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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