make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
