doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
