I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
