My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
