What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We need to get me chipped asap
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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