You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
