She said her name was "party"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize