Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
