Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
