it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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