They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
