after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
