I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
