they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
