I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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