what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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