90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
