"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
