okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
