Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
