So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
