So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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