Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
