Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
