you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
