I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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