We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
